Health Blog

Helpful articles on mental and behavioral health


Learn To Love And Accept Yourself

April 5, 2015

Every day we are bombarded with messages that tell us we are inadequate or could be better. Media messages tell us we are too fat, thin, tall, or shortYet, no matter how corny it sounds, you are wonderful just the way you are. The three steps below will help you to realize it. Advertising tells us that we need to buy new products to improve our flawed faces or fix our wardrobes that aren’t hip enough. At work and at home, family, friends, coworkers, and supervisors tell us what we need to improve to meet their expectations. With all of these messages, it’s incredibly difficult to feel comfortable with who we are and not feel anxiety ridden about everything we need to fix about our imperfect selves. Yet, no matter how corny it sounds, you are wonderful just the way you are. The three steps below will help you to realize it.

Step 1: Celebrate your strengths

It is much easier to acknowledge our shortcomings than it is to celebrate our strengths. We engage in repetitive negative self-talk that subverts our strengths and reinforces feelings of worthlessness. Hone in on your strengths by writing them down. If you are having trouble, set your sights on writing down one personal strength per day. Strengths can be simple, such as “I am kind” or “I am easy-going.” As you write strengths down more frequently, you will see the list begin to evolve as your negative self-conceptions are replaced with positive ones. Also consider making a list of all of the hardships you’ve overcome and goals you have accomplished. Keep the list close by and review it often.

Step 2: Forgive yourself

It’s natural to have regrets for mistakes you’ve made. However, past regrets can stunt our ability to accept ourselves. No one is perfect. Forgive yourself and move on. You can’t change what has happened in the past. When remorse resurfaces, remember that you made the best decision with the information you had at the time. It might not have been the correct decision once considered in hindsight, but at the time, it seemed like the best choice. Learn from that choice and focus on moving forward. Shun your inner critic by using a mantra such as, “I am only human,” or “I am doing the best that I can.”

Step 3: Be kind to yourself

Many people feel that showing self-kindness is selfish, egotistical, or underserved. But self-compassion is essential to self-acceptance. Weakness and frailty are part of the human experience. Accepting who you are involves loving yourself because of your flaws. These flaws make you who you are and comprise the complexity and uniqueness of your intriguing self. No need to beat yourself up. Instead, give yourself a hug and go do something you enjoy that enriches your spirit.

Having trouble silencing your inner critic? Visit Prevail Health Solutions’ website at and chat for free with a trained peer support coach 24/7. The tiny Buddha website is also a great place for “simple wisdom for complex lives”.

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