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Growing Your Self-Confidence

August 17, 2014

Self-doubt is a normal part of life. Everyone occasionally doubts their intelligence, physical appearance, or abilities. Having self-confidence is important to almost every aspect of our lives, however, many people struggle to obtain and maintain it. People who lack self-confidence may find it difficult to be successful or sustain healthy relationships. They may not apply for higher paying jobs because they feel they aren’t smart enough, or may act jealous in relationships because they doubt their attractiveness. Thankfully, self-confidence can be learned and built upon. Confident people inspire confidence in others. The tips below will help you to grow your confidence and accomplish more success in your life.

Acknowledge what you have already achieved

Even if it feels like you have accomplished nothing of value, you likely have had several accomplishments in your life to feel proud of. Make a list of the 10 best things you’ve accomplished in your life and read them aloud every few days. Perhaps you earned straight As in high school, made a difference in someone’s life, or won an award at work. Whatever it is, acknowledge it! This will help you to enjoy the success you already have and recognize your potential to achieve your dreams.

Also take time to make a list of your strengths. Think about what your friends and family would consider your strengths and weaknesses and write them down. Match your weaknesses with strengths that may help you overcome them. For example, if you spend money unwisely, but are good at planning and organizing, consider using this strength to create a budget that will help you to track and spend money more wisely. Try to grow the list as you think of more strengths over time. Read it often and acknowledge that you are a worthwhile and capable person!

Think about where you want to go:

Think about the things that are really important to you and what you want to achieve in life. Create a list of short and long-term goals that exploit your strengths and minimize your weaknesses. Under each goal, identify steps to achieve those goals and check them off once you achieve them. Checking off these steps will help you to get closer to achieving your goals and make you feel accomplished, which in turn will grow your confidence.

Manage your thoughts:

For those with a lack of self-confidence, negative self-talk can be a regular occurrence. This negative self-talk can destroy your confidence. If you have a negative thought, such as, “I am such an idiot,” stop that thought in its tracks and replace with something positive such as, “I am good at overcoming challenges,” or “I am proud of myself.” You may feel like you are lying to yourself, but over time, you will start to recognize the truth in these positive self-talk statements, which will improve your self-confidence.

Whenever you are feeling down in the dumps and need someone to talk to, visit to talk to a peer support coach for free 24/7. Psychology Today also has some great resources.

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