Four Great Ways To Beat Loneliness In Relationships
June 26, 2015
Be willing to accept and share intimacy:
Being close to others requires a certain level of personal vulnerability. Sharing affection and intimacy can make you feel afraid because you may fear being hurt or rejected. Try identifying what makes you fear intimacy and reframe it so you feel more comfortable sharing affection and caring with others. For instance, if you fear being rejected, you can tell yourself: “the worst thing he/she can say is I’m not interested.” This will help to minimize the risk associated with rejection.
Don’t force intimacy:
Sometimes, when you are feeling lonely or rejected, you might feel compelled to demand affection, such as saying: “I need you to call me more often,” or “I need you to tell me you love me more often.” This tactic communicates a need you may have, which is important, but also fails to consider why the person may feel hesitant to share affection and intimacy. Try encouraging intimacy instead. Say things like: “I would really like it if we could hang out and speak more. Can I call you this weekend to go to a movie?” This opens the door for intimate relationships that don’t feel forced.
Rely on multiple sources for intimacy and affection:
It may feel easier to focus all of our expectations for intimacy and affection on one person, such as a spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend, friend, or family member, but it is impossible for only one person to meet all our individual social needs. Seek affection from your spouse or intimate partner, but also reach out to friends and family so you have multiple sources to combat loneliness, as well as multiple personalities to draw from for advice and caring, which will help grow your communication skills.
Avoid toxic relationships and affection:
Loneliness can make us feel hungry for love and affection, which can translate to accepting it in any form, even with people who make us feel bad or disrespect us. Avoid this by establishing healthy boundaries and expectations for respect within your relationships with others. If you are receiving affection from someone who crosses your boundaries, or treats you badly, or causes you stress, you need to pull away and find healthier relationships to rely on. Feeling lonely? You can also visit us at iPrevail. Psychology Today is another helpful resource for relationship advice